I'm always amazed when people in the service industry who must encounter hundreds, if not thousands of people each day actually remember little old me.
He asked me if I spoke Chinese, and when I answered in the affirmative, he asked me where I was from. In the moment of hesitation, I realized that I was, in some ways, born a third-culture kid. Though my parents were both Chinese, they were born and raised in different cities, and both actually moved to a third city, where I spent my childhood.
I said I was from Nanjing, where I spent much of my childhood. It was the answer that made the most sense, given the context, but did not convey that my roots there did not grow deep - I had neither important family nor close friends there, and for that matter, nor do my parents.
I never spoke the native dialect of the people of Nanjing. In fact, I never adopted any of the local dialects of China, and grew up only speaking the common dialect.
Moving right along, as my meal was being made, the cashier remarked that I could get a discount with a student card. After a bit of back and forth on whether I had an eligible one, (and it turns out I did), he remarked that I looked like a student, but also one that probably didn't need the discount on account of how well I was dressed.
That statement left me feeling ambivalent.
I put effort into looking good. It makes me feel confident, it reassures my insecurities; I dress for myself and no one else. I am absolutely ecstatic when other people acknowledge my efforts, but the way he said it had a hint of "I looked like I was perhaps above looking for discounts and he didn't want to offend me by implying otherwise". I mentally reflected on what I had on, and realized that some of it actually was quite expensive. As much as I enjoy dressing up I absolutely would not want it to result in me looking like I was trying to be "above" anyone else or in some way "better" than others aside from the amount of effort I put in and my physical appearance.
It was definitely something that left me thinking.
