The Cashier at Thai Express

I'm always amazed when people in the service industry who must encounter hundreds, if not thousands of people each day actually remember little old me.

He asked me if I spoke Chinese, and when I answered in the affirmative, he asked me where I was from. In the moment of hesitation, I realized that I was, in some ways, born a third-culture kid. Though my parents were both Chinese, they were born and raised in different cities, and both actually moved to a third city, where I spent my childhood.

I said I was from Nanjing, where I spent much of my childhood. It was the answer that made the most sense, given the context, but did not convey that my roots there did not grow deep - I had neither important family nor close friends there, and for that matter, nor do my parents.

I never spoke the native dialect of the people of Nanjing. In fact, I never adopted any of the local dialects of China, and grew up only speaking the common dialect.

Moving right along, as my meal was being made, the cashier remarked that I could get a discount with a student card. After a bit of back and forth on whether I had an eligible one, (and it turns out I did), he remarked that I looked like a student, but also one that probably didn't need the discount on account of how well I was dressed.

That statement left me feeling ambivalent.

I put effort into looking good. It makes me feel confident, it reassures my insecurities; I dress for myself and no one else. I am absolutely ecstatic when other people acknowledge my efforts, but the way he said it had a hint of "I looked like I was perhaps above looking for discounts and he didn't want to offend me by implying otherwise". I mentally reflected on what I had on, and realized that some of it actually was quite expensive. As much as I enjoy dressing up I absolutely would not want it to result in me looking like I was trying to be "above" anyone else or in some way "better" than others aside from the amount of effort I put in and my physical appearance.

It was definitely something that left me thinking.